In the last couple of months I've went from caring too much and taking everything way too seriously to caring too little and becoming Loki for a while (I did what I wanted, without the homicidal tendencies).
MMMmmmmmm..... Lokie...... |
Get out of my head Tom!!!
Oh, yes. New attitude.
I've realized something about myself. I'm one tough cookie (this time). In the midst of all the craziness, I have never given up. Sure, I had bad days, but I knew that I wasn't throwing everything away when I ate that entire bag of potato chips. I knew that I was having a moment of weakness, not a moment of failure. Sure, I lost and gained the same 7 pounds a few times in the past month and a half, but the point is I still was trying.
I have a perfect example of the progress of my acumen in regards to weight loss...
While on the treadmill, I have the urge to run. Like, I actually run. It may be slower than a snail on ketomine, but I run. I was even walking around my work the other day, and just wanted to start running... The point being that I don't run. I've never in my life felt the
urge to run. I swear I didn't have a fight or flight response, I had a "eh" response.
"Oh no that big scary thing is chasing me?!? Eh, it was a good life with so much yummy chocolate... "
But now I find myself actually enjoying exercise, and enjoying running. I ran on the treadmill for 5 minutes straight this week. And I felt great afterwards. I didn't feel like I was going to fall over dead due to lack of breathing ability. This is crazy to me. Progress!!
Speaking of progress...
(insert trumpet fanfare here)
Highest Weight: 378 lbs
Current Weight: 317 lbs
I have to date lost a total of 61 lbs. I'm super excited about it. Like super duper I can't even tell you how excited about it I am. It's also super encouraging.
I think I'm beginning to find balance. I know what I need to eat and how much I need to work to keep on keeping on. I also know that it's okay to have a maple persian donut once in a while....
hehehe.... Cant talk about donuts and not show Homer... |
Hey, I'm finally getting the hang of this long term weight loss stuff...
I hear you girl. I just battled with a case of the "eh" myself.
ReplyDeleteI was killing it in the gym for an hour every day. Waking up at ass crack of dawn. I recorded every morsel to hit my mouth. Still, the scale didn't move down. Sometimes it even moved up. It was giving me a big ol' F U every week. I had to fight for the pounds I did lose. Every single ounce.
I felt exhausted with the weight loss routine. I felt defeated and yeah... just like you, I didn't give an eff.
I'm back on track too now and it feels awesome!
Just know that you are totally doing this! You are a rockstar and you will reach your goals! I just know it!!
~Kellie