So, I've always been one of those people that believe that New Year's Resolutions are a joke. They're just a way to set an unrealistic goal that ends up making you feel bad for not accomplishing it by the end of the year. It gives you fodder to say "Oh, well. I blew it again this year. Might as well finish off that chocolate cheesecake that nobody has eaten yet." Or, "Oh, crap! It's December already? I better try that new fad diet and lose some weight before New Years! I heard that (insert crazy fad diet here) works wonders!" It gives people anxiety and low self worth. Or maybe that's just me.
This year i'm going to do something different. I'm not going to make a New Year's Resolution, I'm going to make myself a New Year's Promise.
I promise to take better care of myself.
I promise to get back to doing the things I love.
I promise to remind myself that I matter.
I promise to spend more time being grateful for what I have.
I promise to not get discouraged when I make mistakes.
I promise to not judge myself by the standards of others.
As I've mentioned before in this blog, I'm horrible with follow through, and accountability, and I seem to be easily discouraged. So, If I don't make a goal, I wont get overwhelmed by it. I'm easily overwhelmed. This way, each day is a new day. There's no screwing up. There's no "Oh crap, I had a cookie, I'm disgusting."
The first promise to tackle is getting back to doing things I love.
I used to love cooking. I stopped cooking what I love because I was trying to loose weight. Do you know what happened? I gained more weight. I would cook something that was "healthy" and hate it and then I'd eat a bag of potato chips because I wasn't satisfied with what I was eating. Oh, those potato chips would be amazingly tasty, so then I'd follow that with ice cream. And the ice cream would be so delicious, I'd follow that with cookies. And so on and so forth until I've eaten basically every available carb in the house. All because the meal I made was "healthy" and unsatisfying.
This year I'm going to cook more. I'm going to cook things that I think will be fun and yummy and satisfying. The hubs has bought me these fancy pans that I've always wanted, and bought me fancy knives he's always wanted. Time for me to get some use out of them. What good are super shiny pans and super sharp knives if you don't use them?
I also love writing. But don't take the time to do it, because A. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything to write about and B. because I haven't accomplished anything I get super down about myself and I resort to eating a years worth of chocolate in one sitting and C. because I ate an entire year's worth of chocolate in one sitting I want to crawl into bed and hide from society like the big fat failure I believe myself to be in that moment. No more thinking I'm a big fat failure! So, I'm going to try to write more. Because I love to write. I'm hilarious. In my own head. I think.
So, that's it for now. I'm going to work on my first promise to myself. I think by doing this, the others will naturally follow. Hopefully. I don't know. I'm not so good at following things. Even if it's supposed to be naturally.