Squishy's Progress Report

Greetings fictional people who read my blog!

So, I thought it was about time for a progress report. And I actually have progress to report!! Go Me!!

Starting Weight: 378
Current Weight: 346

32 pounds baby! Hells Yeah Bitches!! 

Measurements: Now, I'm really putting myself out there sharing these, but since I'm feeling great about myself why not! I, unfortunately, didn't take actual beginning measurements because it took me about 3 weeks to gather the courage to actually measure myself.

Startingish Hips: 61.5
Current Hips: 59

Startingish Waist: 55
Current Waist: 51.5

I can definitely tell a difference with how my clothes fit. My pants are much looser than they were (except for my jeans which seem to lose inches with me) and I had thought that my shirts were getting shorter (turns out I was just getting wider). Also, when I look down I no longer see my pooch sticking out from underneath my boobs. And the most exciting thing? I have a butt now!! An actual discernible butt! My butt is no longer just a big lump on my back blending straight into the back of my legs. Now you can actually tell where my butt ends and the back of my thighs begin! I'm super happy to have a butt again!! It's the little things, really. 

This is a great start to my journey, and leaves me feeling uber motivated to keep going. As you can tell from reading my blog I've had many start overs and do overs and poor choices and  bad decisions. But I can feel that it's different this time. I'm in a much better place than I was before.

This time my weight loss isn't being motivated by self-hatred. This time I've decided to accept myself for the way I am NOW. I don't need to be a certain size, or look a certain way. I just want to feel better, and have the energy and ambition to do all those things I've been holding back because of my weight. I'm no longer obsessing (too much) on what I'm eating. This time if I have a piece (or whole) chocolate cake I'm not disgusted with myself and end up wanting to just quit because it's too hard. I'm not becoming upset and wanting to quit when the scale doesn't say I'm loosing as much as I wanted it to.

The best thing I've ever done is to forgive myself for all the damage that I've caused to my body, both mentally and physically. I decided that it was OK to be Me! I'm a great person! I don't have to hide behind uncomfortable layers of clothing when it's a million degrees outside. I don't have to wear pants all the time because my calfs are large and I have cankles and stretch marks. I'm beautiful the way I am now, and I'll be beautiful at whatever size or shape I will be in the future. I still have days where I doubt myself, and maybe feel like I'm not doing enough and not pushing myself enough, but that's okay. That's HUMAN. This time I realize that I can't fail unless I decide to fail. That if I give up, I decided to give up. The decision has always been mine.

The best piece of advice I've ever heard comes from my favorite person in all of pop culture: RuPaul (if you don't know who this Queen is, I suggest you do yourself a favor and educate yo'self)


A-Men!!